10 Short Funny Quotes about Marriage

1. There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again. ~ Clint Eastwood

2. Man's best possession is a sympathetic wife. ~ Euripides

3. One man's folly is another man's wife. ~ Helen Rowland

4. By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. ~ Socrates

5. I know nothing about sex because I was always married. ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

6. It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

7. If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. ~ Katharine Hepburn

8. Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets. ~  Ogden Nash

9. I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. ~ Rita Rudner

10. My wife says I never listen to her.  At least I think that's what she said. ~ Author Unknown

10 Short Quotes about Ignorance

1. To be conscious that you are ignorant is a great step to knowledge. ~ Benjamin Disraeli

2. Ignorance is the night of the mind, but a night without moon and star. ~ Confucius

3. Stupid is forever, ignorance can be fixed. ~ Don Wood

4. Against logic there is no armor like ignorance. ~ Laurence J. Peter

5. Have the courage to be ignorant of a great number of things, in order to avoid the calamity of being ignorant of everything. ~ Sydney Smith

6. An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out. ~ Will Rogers

7. Nothing is as dangerous as an ignorant friend; a wise enemy is to be preferred. ~ Jean de La Fontaine

8. Men are born ignorant, not stupid. They are made stupid by education. ~ Bertrand Russell

9. He must be very ignorant for he answers every question he is asked. ~ Voltaire

10. We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid. ~ Benjamin Franklin

10 Short Quotes about Talent

1. Work while you have the light. You are responsible for the talent that has been entrusted to you. ~ Henri-Frédéric Amie

2. Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius. ~ Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

3. Use what talent you possess: the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best. ~ Henry Van Dyke

4. Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God. ~ Leo Buscaglia

5. I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious. ~ Albert Einstein

6. Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. There's plenty of movement, but you never know if it's going to be forward, backwards, or sideways. ~ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

7. Two kinds of men generally best succeed in political life; men of no principle, but of great talent; and men of no talent, but of one principle - that of obedience to their superiors. ~ Wendell Phillip

8. Great talents have some admirers, but few friends ~ Unknown

9. Conciseness is the sister of talent. ~ Anton Checkhov

10. True happiness involves the full use of one's power and talents. ~ John W. Gardner

10 Short Quotes about Ideas

1. Ideas are like rabbits. You get a couple and learn how to handle them, and pretty soon you have a dozen. ~ John Steinbeck

2. He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met. ~ Abraham Lincoln

3. Ideals are like stars: you will not succeed in touching them with your hands, but like the seafaring man on the ocean desert of waters, you choose them as your guides, and following them, you reach your destiny. ~ Carl Schurz

4. There are only two kinds of scholars; those who love ideas and those who hate them. ~ Emile Chartier

5. Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together. ~ Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

6. To die for an idea; it is unquestionably noble. But how much nobler it would be if men died for ideas that were true! ~ H. L. Mencken
7. Do something. If it doesn't work, do something else. No idea is too crazy. ~ Jim Hightower,

8. I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas. I'm frightened of the old ones. ~ John Cage

9. It is by acts and not by ideas that people live. ~ Anatole France

10. Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle. ~ Ken Hakuta

7 Short Quotes about Health

1. Every patient carries her or his own doctor inside. ~ Albert Schweitzer

2. Health is not valued till sickness comes. ~ Dr. Thomas Fuller

3. Preserving health by too severe a rule is a worrisome malady. ~ Francois de La Rochefoucauld

4. If you trust Google more than your doctor then maybe it's time to switch doctors. ~ Jadelr and Cristina Cordova

5. Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors. ~ Quentin Crisp

6. One of the most sublime experiences we can ever have is to wake up feeling healthy after we have been sick. ~ Rabbi Harold Kushner

7. Quit worrying about your health. It'll go away. ~ Robert Orben

10 Short Quotes about Happiness

1. Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory. ~ Albert Schweitzer

2. The discovery of a new dish does more for human happiness than the discovery of a new star. ~ Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

3. If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years. ~ Bertrand Russell

4. Cherish all your happy moments: they make a fine cushion for old age. ~ hristopher Morley

5. Sometimes it's hard to avoid the happiness of others. ~ David Assael

6. A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth. ~ George Bernard Shaw

7. It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed. ~ Kin Hubbard

8. Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

9. When you relinquish the desire to control your future, you can have more happiness. ~ Nicole Kidman

10. Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember. ~ Oscar Levant

10 Short Quotes about Food

1. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince, and dinner like a pauper. ~ Adelle Davis

2. We are indeed much more than what we eat, but what we eat can nevertheless help us to be much more than what we are. ~ Adelle Davis

3. Health food makes me sick. ~ Calvin Trillin

4. My favorite animal is steak. ~ Fran Lebowitz

5. Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist. ~ G. K. Chesterton

6. A dinner lubricates business. ~ Lord William Stowell

7. Sharing food with another human being is an intimate act that should not be indulged in lightly. ~ M. F. K. Fisher

8. Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask what's for lunch. ~ Orson Welles

9. Food is the most primitive form of comfort. ~ Sheila Graham

10. I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks. ~ Totie Fields

10 Short Quotes about Friendship

1. He who has a thousand friends has not a friend to spare,
And he who has one enemy will meet him everywhere. ~ Ali ibn-Abi-Talib

2. Nobody sees a flower - really - it is so small it takes time - we haven't time - and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time. ~ Georgia O'Keeffe

3. I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones. ~ Oscar Wilde

4. Treat your friend as if he might become an enemy. ~ Publilius Syrus

5. The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

6. It's a lot like nature. You only have as many animals as the ecosystem can support and you only have as many friends as you can tolerate the bitching of. ~ Randy K. Milholland,

7. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate. ~ Thomas Jones

8. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend. ~ Unknown

9. I no doubt deserved my enemies, but I don't believe I deserved my friends. ~ Walt Whitman

10. I've learned that all a person has in life is family and friends. If you lose those, you have nothing, so friends are to be treasured more than anything else in the world. ~ Trey Parker and Matt Stone

5 Short Quotes about Death

1. Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives. ~ A. Sachs

2. Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. ~ George Bernard Shaw

3. A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic. ~ Joseph Stalin

4. As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death. ~ Leonardo da Vinci
5. Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all. ~ William Goldman

5 Short Quotes about Courage

1. Courage is the ladder on which all the other virtues mount. ~ Clare Booth Luce

2. Courage is fear that has said its prayers. ~ Dorothy Bernard

3. Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared. ~ Eddie Rickenbacker

4. Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death. ~ Harold Wilson

5. Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear. ~ Mark Twain

10 Short Quotes about Children

1. Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come back home. ~ Bill Cosby

2. People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children. ~ Bill Watterson

3. The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children. ~ Clarence Darrow

4. A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. ~ Groucho Marx

5. I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it. ~ Harry S Truman

6. You know that children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers. ~ John J. Plomp

7. Outings are so much more fun when we can savor them through the children's eyes. ~ Lawana Blackwell,

8. People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. ~ Leo J. Burke

9. If you want to see what children can do, you must stop giving them things. ~ Norman Douglas

10. Children are the only form of immortality that we can be sure of. ~ Peter Ustinov

10 Short Quotes about Character

1. Character is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing. ~ Abraham Lincoln

2. Personality can open doors, but only character can keep them open. ~ Elmer G. Letterman

3. In attempts to improve your character, know what is in your power and what is beyond it. ~ Francis Thompson

4. A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents. ~ Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

5. People with courage and character always seem sinister to the rest. ~ Hermann Hesse

6. When the character of a man is not clear to you, look at his friends. ~ Japanese Proverb

7. Men show their characters in nothing more clearly than in what they think laughable. ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

8. One can acquire everything in solitude - except character. ~ Marie Henri Beyle

9. People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

10. Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all. ~ Sam Ewing

10 Short Quotes about Books

1. This paperback is very interesting, but I find it will never replace a hardcover book - it makes a very poor doorstop. ~ Alfred Hitchcock

2. The covers of this book are too far apart. ~ Ambrose Bierce

3. Wear the old coat and buy the new book. ~ Austin Phelps

4. Books are the quietest and most constant of friends; they are the most accessible and wisest of counsellors, and the most patient of teachers. ~ Charles W. Eliot

5. A room without books is like a body without a soul. ~ Cicero

6. A good novel tells us the truth about its hero; but a bad novel tells us the truth about its author. ~ G. K. Chesterton

7. I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. ~ Groucho Marx

8. Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore? ~ Henry Ward Beecher

9. Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. ~ Mark Twain

10. The multitude of books is making us ignorant. ~ Voltaire

15 Short Quotes about Age

1. Beware of the young doctor and the old barber. ~ Benjamin Franklin

2. There is no old age. There is, as there always was, just you. ~ Carol Matthau

3. Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you. ~ Cyril Connolly

4. The surprising thing about young fools is how many survive to become old fools. ~ Doug Larson

5. I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect. ~ George Burns

6. About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age. ~ Gloria Pitzer

7. Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough. ~ Groucho Marx

8. Old age is not so bad when you consider the alternatives. ~ Maurice Chevalier

9. You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing. ~ Michael Pritchard

10. Middle age is when you've met so many people that every new person you meet reminds you of someone else. ~ Ogden Nash

11. A person is always startled when he hears himself seriously called an old man for the first time. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

12. I am not young enough to know everything. ~ Oscar Wilde

13. In case you're worried about what's going to become of the younger generation, it's going to grow up and start worrying about the younger generation. ~ Roger Allen

14. The denunciation of the young is a necessary part of the hygiene of older people, and greatly assists in the circulation of their blood. ~ Logan Pearsall Smith

15. Sure i'm for helping the elderly. I'm going to be old myself some day. ~ Lillian Carter

10 Short Quotes about Art

1. Art is the desire of a man to express himself, to record the reactions of his personality to the world he lives in. ~ Amy Lowell

2. If you were in a burning house and there was a cat and a Rembrandt, what would you save? The cat...you would save the cat, because the cat is alive. The art is dead. It's just paint on a canvas, ink on a page. To live for art is to deny life. It's just to destroy life. ~ Diane Frolov and Andrew Schneider,

3. Another unsettling element in modern art is that common symptom of immaturity, the dread of doing what has been done before. ~ Edith Wharton

4. A painting in a museum hears more ridiculous opinions than anything else in the world. ~ Edmond de Goncourt

5. Artists who seek perfection in everything are those who cannot attain it in anything. ~ Eugene Delacroix

6. Art is making something out of nothing and selling it. ~ Frank Zappa

7. Every artist dips his brush in his own soul, and paints his own nature into his pictures. ~ Henry Ward Beecher

8. To live a creative life, we must lose our fear of being wrong. ~ Joseph Chilton Pearce

9. The creation of art is not the fulfillment of a need but the creation of a need. The world never needed Beethoven's Fifth Symphony until he created it. Now we could not live without it. ~ Louis I Kahn

10. Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up. ~ Pablo Picasso

10 Short Quotes about America and Americans

1. In America any boy may become President and I suppose it's just one of the risks he takes. ~ Adlai E. Stevenson Jr.

2. America is a large, friendly dog in a very small room. Every time it wags its tail, it knocks over a chair. ~ Arnold Toynbee

3. England and America are two countries separated by a common language. ~ George Bernard Shaw

4. In a country as big as the United States, you can find fifty examples of anything. ~ Jeffery F. Chamberlain

5. America is a vast conspiracy to make you happy. ~ John Updike

6. There are three social classes in America: upper middle class, middle class, and lower middle class. ~ Judith Martin,

7. The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children. ~ King Edward VIII

8. America is a country that doesn't know where it is going but is determined to set a speed record getting there. ~ Laurence J. Peter

9. America is the only country that went from barbarism to decadence without civilization in between. ~ Oscar Wilde

10. Half of the American people have never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half. ~ Gore Vidal

10 Short Quotes about Father

1. It is much easier to become a father than to be one. ~ Kent Nerburn

2. I love my father as the stars - he's a bright shining example and a happy twinkling in my heart. ~ Adabella Radici

3. Sons are for fathers the twice-told tale. ~ Victoria Secunda,

4. Why are men reluctant to become fathers? They aren't through being children. ~ Cindy Garner

5. There are three stages of a man's life: He believes in Santa Claus, he doesn't believe in Santa Claus, he is Santa Claus. ~ Unknown Author

6. The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them. ~ Confucius

7. When a father gives to his son, both laugh; when a son gives to his father, both cry. ~ Jewish Proverb


8. A man knows he is growing old because he begins to look like his father. ~ Gabriel Garcia Marquez

9. It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. ~ Anne Sexton

10. It's clear that most American children suffer too much mother and too little father. ~ Gloria Steinem

10 Short Quotes about Mother

1. A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. ~ Tenneva Jordan

2. Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs in my field, since the payment is pure love. ~ Mildred B. Vermont

3. OThe phrase "working mother" is redundant. ~ Jane Sellman

4. The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~ Rajneesh

5. Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same, and most mothers kiss and scold together. ~ Pearl S. Buck

6. Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. ~ Ambrose Bierce

7. The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. ~ Honoré de Balzac

8. An ounce of mother is worth a pound of clergy. ~ Spanish Proverb

9.If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands? ~ Milton Berle

10. Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease. ~ Lisa Alther

10 Short Quotes about Family

1. I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the sap. ~ Fred Allen

2. Family faces are magic mirrors. Looking at people who belong to us, we see the past, present, and future. ~ Gail Lumet Buckley

3. Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family. ~ Anthony Brandt

4. We cannot destroy kindred: our chains stretch a little sometimes, but they never break. ~ Marquise de Sévigné

5. In time of test, family is best. ~ Burmese Proverb

6. The great advantage of living in a large family is that early lesson of life's essential unfairness. ~ Nancy Mitford

7. When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them. ~ George Bernard Shaw

8. You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them. ~ Desmond Tutu

9. When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses are family happinesses. ~ Joyce Brothers

10. A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold. ~ Ogden Nash

10 Short Quotes about Guests

1. If it were not for guests all houses would be graves. ~ Kahlil Gibran

2. Visits always give pleasure - if not the arrival, the departure. ~ Portuguese Proverb

3. Fish and visitors smell in three days. ~ Benjamin Franklin

4. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home, even if you wish they were. ~ Unknown Author

5. A pretty woman is a welcome guest. ~ Lord Byron

6. It is equally offensive to speed a guest who would like to stay and to detain one who is anxious to leave. ~ Homer

7. The first day a man is a guest, the second a burden, the third a pest. ~ Edouard Rene Lefebure Laboulaye

8. When hospitality becomes an art, it loses its very soul. ~ Max Beerbohm

9. Mankind is divisible into two great classes: hosts and guests. ~ Sir Max Beerbohm

10. To be an ideal guest, stay at home. ~ Edgar Watson Howe

10 Short Quotes about Job

1. Find a job you like and you add five days to every week. ~ H. Jackson Browne

2. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. ~ Robert Orben

3. If you have a job without any aggravations, you don't have a job. ~ Malcolm S. Forbes

4. The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form. ~ Stanley J. Randall

5. I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy. ~ Danny McGoorty

6. Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. ~ Confucius

7. The difference between a job and a career is the difference between forty and sixty hours a week. ~ Robert Frost

8. More men are killed by overwork than the importance of this world justifies. ~ Rudyard Kipling

9. One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. ~ Bertrand Russell

10. What the world really needs is more love and less paper work ~ Pearl Bailey

10 Short Quotes about Freedom

1. Freedom of speech and freedom of action are meaningless without freedom to think. And there is no freedom of thought without doubt. ~ Bergen Evans

2. People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use. ~ Søren Kierkegaard

3. Freedom is that instant between when someone tells you to do something and when you decide how to respond. ~ Dr. Jeffrey Borenstein

4. Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes. ~ Mahatma Gandhi

5. The money you have gives you freedom; the money you pursue enslaves you. ~ Jean Jacques Rousseau

6. Free speech carries with it some freedom to listen. ~ Warren Earl Burger,

7. If we like them, they're freedom fighters . . . If we don't like them, they're terrorists. In the unlikely case we can't make up our minds, they're temporarily only guerrillas. ~ Carl Sagan,

8. I wish that every human life might be pure transparent freedom. ~ Simone de Beauvoir

9. My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular. ~ Adlai Stevenson

10. It is easy to take liberty for granted, when you have never had it taken from you. ~ Dick Cheney

10 Short Quotes about Gifts

1. What is bought is cheaper than a gift. ~ Portuguese Proverb

2. The manner of giving is worth more than the gift. ~ Pierre Corneille, Le Menteur

3. What we are is God's gift to us. What we become is our gift to God. ~ Eleanor Powell

4. Each day comes bearing its own gifts. Untie the ribbons. ~ Ruth Ann Schabacker

5. Change always comes bearing gifts. ~ Price Pritchett

6. Love is, above all, the gift of oneself. ~ Jean Anouilh

7. I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift would be curiosity. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

8. Every problem has a gift for you in its hands. ~ Richard Bach

9. The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value. ~ Charles Dudley Warner

10. Respect the gift and the giver. ~ American Indian Proverb

8 Short Quotes about Birthday

1. A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~ Author Unknown

2. Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~ Menachem Mendel Schneerson

3. Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~ Jean Paul Richter

4. Most of us can remember a time when a birthday - especially if it was one's own brightened the world as if a second sun has risen. ~ Robert Lynd

5. The Best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once. ~ H. V. Prochnow

6. For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday. ~ John Glenn

7. The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity. ~ Seneca

8. Real birthdays are not annual affairs. Real birthdays are the days when we have a new birth. ~ Ralph Parlette

10 Short Quotes about Age

1. Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~ Tom Wilson

2. To keep the heart unwrinkled, to be hopeful, kindly, cheerful, reverent — that is to triumph over old age. ~ Thomas Bailey Aldrich

3. As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. ~ Robert Benchley

4. By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it. ~ George Burns


5. Nature gives you the face you have at twenty. Life shapes the face you have at thirty. But at fifty you get the face you deserve. ~ Coco Chanel

6. One of the good things about getting older is you find you're more interesting than most of the people you meet. ~ Lee Marvin

7. The first forty years of life give us the text; the next thirty supply the commentary on it. ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

8. I have never admitted that I am more than twenty-nine, or thirty at the most. Twenty-nine when there are pink shades, thirty when there are not. ~ Oscar Wilde,

9. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~ Robert Frost

10. Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~ Dorothy Fulheim

15 Short Quotes by Abraham Lincoln

1. You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time."

2. Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.

3. If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.

4. As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.

5. People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be.

6. You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.

7. You have to do your own growing no matter how tall your grandfather was.

8. When you have got an elephant by the hind legs and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.

9. Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves.

10. Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle.

11. The philosophy of the school room in one generation will be the philosophy of government in the next.

12. The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.

13. No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.

14. Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory.

15. It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.

15 Short Quotes by Martin Luther King

1. We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.

2. If a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live.

3. Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."

4. All progress is precarious, and the solution of one problem brings us face to face with another problem.

5. Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.

6. The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

7. A man can't ride your back unless it's bent.

8. I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.

9. In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.

10. Life's most urgent question is: what are you doing for others?

11. Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal.

12. Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.

13. We are not makers of history. We are made by history.

14. When you are right you cannot be too radical; when you are wrong, you cannot be too conservative.

15. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

12 Short Funny Quotes about Sex

1. What's the three words you never want to hear while making love? Honey, I'm home. ~ Ken Hammond.

2. There is nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed. ~ George Burns

3. Sex is the invention of a very clever venereal disease. ~ David Cronenberg

4. The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less. ~ Brendan Francis.

5. An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex. ~ Edgar Wallace.

6. I would read Playboy magazine more often, but my glasses keep steaming over. ~ George Burns

7. I know nothing about sex because I was always married. ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor

8. Sex at the age of eighty-four is a wonderful experience. Especially the one in the winter. ~ Milton Berle

9. My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading. ~ Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)

10. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships ~ Sharon Stone

11. See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. ~ Robin Williams

12. Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place. ~ Billy Crystal

10 Short Quotes about Success

1. Sweat plus sacrifice equals success. ~ Charlie Finley

2. Engrave this Quote One important key to success is self-confidence. An important key to self-confidence is preparation. ~ Arthur Ashe

3. The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will. ~ Vince Lombardi

4. Perseverance is a great element of success. If you only knock long enough and loud enough at the gate, you are sure to wake up somebody. ~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

5. The best way to become a successful writer is to read good writing, remember it, and then forget where you remember it from. ~ Gene Fowler

6. Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm. ~ Sir Winston Churchill

7. Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. ~ Anonymous

8. A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him.~ David Brinkley

9. Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.~ Joyce Brothers

10. I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone.~ Bill Cosby

5 Funny Quotes about Murphy's Law

1. Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure. ~ Murphy's Law

2. As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. ~Author Unknown

3. It's always been and always will be the same in the world: The horse does the work and the coachman is tipped. ~Author Unknown

4. If you wonder where your child left his roller skates, try walking around the house in the dark. ~Leopold Fechtner

5. Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark. ~Author Unknown

10 Short Funny Quotes about Sex

1. To succeed with the opposite sex, tell her you're impotent. She can't wait to disprove it. ~ Cary Grant

2. If it wasn't for pick-pockets and frisking at airports I'd have no sex life at all. ~ Rodney Dangerfield

3. Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy. ~ Steve Martin.

4. When I'm good I'm very, very good but when I'm bad I'm better. ~ Mae West.

5. My wife is a sex object. Evertime I ask for sex, she objects. ~ Les Dawson

6. Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night. ~ Woody Allen

7. My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. ~ Woody Allen

8. I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls. ~ Groucho Marx

9. A nymphomaniac is a women as obsessed with sex as the average man. ~ Mignon McLaughlin

10. I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic. ~ Woody Allen.

5 Quotes about Office

1. It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office. ~ H. L. Mencken

2. At the dictation of a mathematician, it will solve in a matter of hours equations never before solved because of their intricacy and the enormous time and personnel which would be required to work them out on ordinary office calculators. ~ New York Times, 1944

3. Fools take to themselves the respect that is given to their office. ~ Aesop

4. The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office. ~ Robert Frost

5. The trouble in corporate America is that too many people with too much power live in a box (their home), then travel the same road every day to another box (their office). ~ Faith Popcorn

10 Short Quotes about Friendship

1. The real test of friendship is: can you literally do nothing with the other person? Can you enjoy those moments of life that are utterly simple? ~ Eugene Kennedy

2. Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never. ~ Charles Caleb Colton

3. When you choose your friends, don't be short-changed by choosing personality over character. ~ W. Somerset Maugham

4. Whenever a friend succeeds, a little something in me dies. ~ Gore Vidal

5. A brother is a friend given by Nature. ~ Jean Baptiste Legouve

6. It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. ~ William Blake

7. Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can only read the title. ~ Virginia Woolf

8. The best mirror is an old friend. ~ Peter Nivio Zarlenga

9. If you would keep your secret from an enemy, tell it not to a friend. ~ Benjamin Franklin

10. Odd how much it hurts when a friend moves away - and leaves behind only silence. ~ Pam Brown

10 Short Quotes about Love

1. Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind. ~ William Shakespeare

2. The definition of a beautiful woman is one who loves me. ~ Sloan Wilson

3. Jealousy is not a barometer by which the depth of love can be read, it merely records the degree of the lover's insecurity. ~ Margaret Mead

4. A friend is one who knows you and loves you just the same. ~ Elbert Hubbard

5. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

6. A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous. ~ Ingrid Bergman

7. A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him. ~ Brendan Francis

8. In love the paradox occurs that two beings become one and yet remain two. ~ Erich Fromm

9. Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes...just be an illusion. ~ Javan

10. If you judge people, you have no time to love them. ~ Mother Theresa

10 Short Funny Quotes about Sex

1. I love sex. It's free and doesn't require special shoes. ~ Anonymous

2. I think sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it. ~ Anonymous

3. Sex and golf are the two things you can enjoy even if you're not good at them. ~ Kevin Costner ("Tin Cup")

4. Sex relieves tension - love causes it. ~ Woody Allen

5. When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute. ~ Author Unknown

6. Familiarity breeds contempt - and children. ~ Mark Twain

7. The good thing about masturbation is that you don't have to get dressed up for it. ~ Truman Capote

8. If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time. ~ Louise Sammons

9. When authorities warn you of the sinfulness of sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities. ~ Matt Groening

10. There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible. ~ P.J. O'Rourke

10 Short Quotes about Happiness

1. While we are focusing on fear, worry, or hate, it is not possible for us to be experiencing happiness, enthusiasm or love. ~ Bo Bennett

2. You have no more right to consume happiness without producing it, than you do to consume wealth without producing it. ~ George Bernard Shaw

3. Future. That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured. ~ Ambrose Bierce

4. Gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. ~ G. K. Chesterton

5. Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action. ~ Benjamin Disraeli

6. Engrave this Quote "Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life. ~ Burton Hills

7. Engrave this Quote There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved... ~ George Sand

8. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go. ~ Oscar Wilde

9. One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory. ~ Rita Mae Brown

10. Sixty minutes of thinking of any kind is bound to lead to confusion and unhappiness. ~ James Thurber

10 Short Quotes about Life

1. It's not your blue blood, your pedigree or your college degree. It's what you do with your life that counts. ~ Millard Fuller

2. Engrave this Quote Life is known only by those who have found a way to be comfortable with change and the unknown. Given the nature of life, there may be no security, but only adventure. ~ Rachel Naomi Remen

3. Nature gives you the face you have at twenty. Life shapes the face you have at thirty. But at fifty you get the face you deserve. ~ Coco Chanel

4. The first forty years of life give us the text; the next thirty supply the commentary on it. ~ Arthur Schopenhauer

5. Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken winged bird that cannot fly. ~ Langston Hughes

6. The tragedy of modern man is not that he knows less and less about the meaning of his own life but that it bothers him less and less. ~ Vaclav Havel

7. Assumptions allow the best in life to pass you by. ~ John Sales

8. Life was simple before World War II. After that, we had systems. ~ Grace Murray Hopper

9. Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. ~ Roger Caras

10. I slept and dreamed that life was beauty.
I awoke - and found that life was duty. ~ Ellen Stugis Hooper

10 Short Quotes about People

1. People only see what they are prepared to see. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

2. Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. ~ Margaret Mead

3. I always advise people never to give advice. ~ P. G. Wodehouse

4. Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. ~ Mark Twain

5. You can fool some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people all of the time. ~ Abraham Lincoln

6. The only people who think children are carefree are the ones who've forgotten their own childhood. ~ Orson Scott Card

7. Many people claim coffee inspires them, but, as everybody knows, coffee only makes boring people even more boring. ~ Honore de Balzac

8. The happy people are those who are producing something; the bored people are those who are consuming much and producing nothing. ~ W. R. Inge

9. Don't knock the weather; nine-tenths of the people couldn't start a conversation if it didn't change once in a while. ~ Kin Hubbard

10. We are the people our parents warned us about. ~ Jimmy Buffett